IN THE END, IT'S UP TO YOU

 

One day I woke up, for the first time in my life, missing massively such adolescence that I didn't have, maybe this is the reason. The past hurts a lot, even though it's good and bad too. It’s bad because it makes us suffer, sometimes we even remember the pain that it caused on us, every betrayal, every beating, every injustice; and the good, for the dreams we had, for the flirtations and festive looks, as we desired to arrive the Monday to flirt with our high school sweetheart.

I didn't have a high school boyfriend, I always liked to read, I was always the book worm, but I had my friends who told me and still said I was happy because I didn't have a boyfriend. She barely knew that I used to read books to dream about. I listened to David Bowie’s "Sorrow", listened to the tracks of international soap operas such as "Rock'n Roll Lullaby" and felt like the ugliest woman in the world because no one looked at me, so every night I took my little blue radio and listened to Radio Tamoio or Mundial, so I traveled the world! Then, when I returned to reality, I had no little blue radio, no longer I had a dream and all the singers I liked got physically dead because for me, they are still alive inside my heart. It is inevitable that the tears fall, so live the today as if it were the last day of your life, do everything you want, do not let anyone boss in your life, no one says what you should do, because you know who will suffer if you do not listen to the advice I am giving you from my own experience: it will be you who will be a bitter and sad woman.

The worst thing there is is regreting, so do, have an overdose of pleasure while you can! As you remember your good past, just smile and thank God for being happy! It's still because you have good memories and you haven't become a spiteful woman with yourself for not doing what you wanted, for obeying others to the detriment of yourself.

Good luck!! Oh, do not think, therefore, thinking gives wrinkle and takes away your courage, go with your mind, body and soul!

Written by Katia Paes on 01/29/2021.

DO NOT MIX UP THE SEASONS

  

One of several people who crossed my path, married for 15 years, had five children, a wife who was more of a mother than a woman. More mother than woman? Yes, because she let her kids climb up her bed with dirty feet, peeing on it. As the man was very famous in the city, he called a mattress store, bought one and had one delivered to his house, but he forgot a single detail: to give the delivery address of the mattress! When he got home, a party awaited him, the wife all loving and he, surprised, asked:

-       Why this? It's not my birthday or anything!

-       My love, thank you for the new mattress you sent me as a gift! Because the other one was already more than 10 years old and you made me such surprise, thank you, my love!

-       Since you liked it so much, sleep with our kids on the mattress and see which one will debut peeing on it! I'm going to sleep on the couch!

The next day, he goes to the mattress store and asks:

-       Who was the MF who sent the mattress I bought for my mistress and was sent to my wife? For those brats pee all over it! Fire him!

-       But, Dr. Raimundo, you said that it was to be sent to your house! According to my records, you're only married to Mrs. Maria."

As he did not convince the man, he bought another one, however, now sent to the correct address. So, if you don't want to have problems, give the right address!

PS: To preserve the real actors, the wife, who was the love in person, the ending is fictitious.

Written by Katia Paes on 01/29/2021.

WHEN A DREAM BECOMES A NIGHTMARE

 

A love is the most beautiful and tyranny thing in nature, a fake tyranny, disguised. We all dream of eternal love and this is an arrogance of ours because neither eternal we are. Beliefs aside, because I don't talk about religion, I'm not senile yet. We love with all our strength and then our partner no longer loves us, he stopped loving us, after all, in life, everything that is too much can get sick. I am telling it from my own experience because when I used to eat many candies, I had tremendous diarrhea, so I think there is a kind of sticky love. Never arrest your man and your wife, never be the shadow of the other, it doesn't work, keep a certain distance, a little mystery, don't keep asking “where you're going?”, “where you’ve been?”, “at what time you're going back”, if you can go together, ask why he never takes you, you know why? That doesn't prevent him from putting a good pair of horns on you!!

My uncles, Uncle Bibi and Uncle Raimundinho (Little Raymond), both had "branches" and "souvenirs" with them, one of them had, astonishingly, the capacity of putting the name of the “headquarter” in the "souvenir"! You know, it was surely an issue that at the funeral of one of them, when the “headquarter” saw that amount coming into, that looked more like a kindergarten classroom, she asked his sister: “what time did he do that?”, "Haven't you ever thought the amount of coffee he was drinking weird?”, that he was going to buy cigarettes? A beer with a friend? That's the bill you're going to pay for sharing the inheritance with them, and, without no intention of scaring you, look back that the line, it is big, so if you don't have your individuality, if you do not have the wisdom of Solomon, because he was intelligent to some extent, in my opinion and God’s, that’s why He destroyed the temple because he betrayed Him with an Egyptian woman. So, seriously, if you find out something, pretend you don't know if you're not going to make a decision because you can come in a burst of anger when you ask to choose between "she or me" and you hear: "She!", and even worse, if she is your friend the pain will be immeasurable because besides a fake friend, you have put her inside your house , she was still your partner - a majoritarian one - for stealing your husband.

Me, in my case, I love a person who will never betray me, who does everything I want, we make a wonderful match. If I sleep, she sleeps, if I want to see the movie, he sees with me, he doesn't guess in my life, much less me on his: it's my mirror! I love Katia! None love should be greater than yours for yourself, do not nullify you!

 

Written by Katia Paes on 01/29/2021.

THE OWL

  

I was “dating” a beautiful owl that I saw in a store and I looked at her, looked at her, it was a mutual love because I was reciprocated, then at one point, a Jewish lady came up to me and asked:

- Why do you look at her so much? It's ugly, big-eyed... it turns its head, very ugly, you have a bad taste and besides, she is bad luck!

- To my mind, she gives me luck. I spend hours and hours contemplating the turning of its head, the opening of its wings and the great mother that it is for its little ones, considering that a mother when she’s so in love with her children, it’s given the nickname 'owl mother'".

None of this convinced her and she continued:

- It is venomous, bird of bad omen, it brings bad luck to our lives.

- What did the owl do to you to be so angry with it?

- For you to dislike someone, do you need a reason? You don't like it and that's it! Me, for instance, I hate my daughters-in-law! Are you really going to take this ominous animal that brings bad luck? Maybe with my story, you change your mind and leave this owl where it is, on the store’s shelf, well there it goes: once when I lived in São Paulo, on my birthday someone had such bad taste like yours and gave me an owl, like this one from the store, it ruined my birthday. Wonder me gaining the animal I hate the most!

- There are worse animals, the men who harm those who have done nothing to them.

- You know what I did when that wicked woman left my house? I opened the window and just threw it with all my strength through it!!

- Is it serious that you lived on the eleventh floor?

- Of course, I’m not senile yet, at least I don’t keep dating an owl.

So me, pensive, with no intention of being rude and disrespectful because of her age, I checked:

- Are you sure? Did you throw it from the eleventh floor, really?

She, all excited, said to me:

- Oh, of course! I even heard the noise of it after falling and breaking, shattering itself, so I went in and closed the window.

- Listen, tell me something: do you still think that the owl brings bad luck? When you threw it, did it hit anyone?

She, then, already surprised, tells me:

- Well, of course not! I heard her breaking itself in little pieces!

- So you still think she brings bad luck? Because I think she brings you luck because no one died, she didn't fall over any innocent one passing underneath. Which street did you live in São Paulo?

- On Augusta Street, she told me quietly and concluded:

- That owl gave you luck! If it kills someone on the street, or you'd be in jail or in some madhouse, but not talking to me right now.

She peeled her eyes, stared at me, thinking, silent, and simply faded away faster than the wind.

Until the present days, when I meet her in Copacabana, she crosses the street or, in the supermarket, when there is no way out, I greet her and ask her if she still throws owls through the window, after all, we are on Copacabana Avenue, but to my surprise, she says, "No, I live on Santa Clara Street, there is s marquise there and if I throw it, it falls over there". What can I say about it?

 

Written by Katia Paes on 01/29/2021.