WHAT I MOST ADMIRE IN THE USA

1) The respect to their Constitution;

2) Patriotism;

3) The agile Justice System;

4) The unity of a people;

5) Quoting: "If coffee's price has risen, so cut it" and everybody makes it;

6) Seriousness;

7) The flags at the door houses;

8) Their actors, their music, their TV series and the life quality;

9) Philadelphia;

10) New York.

It's impossible, our Constitution has been changed for several times and we don't respect it. Our justice is slow, longtime delayed (in some cases, the author dies and the family takes the credits of the lawsuit) and fractured. In my case, I'm dealing with the Justice system, my brother's stolen, falsified, said he was a physician without being one in fact and he's been free like a tampon. Me, the one who's been stolen, I'm falling apart while he's in a good place. I need to reinforce that the Public Attorney's Office (Ministério Público) from Rio de Janeiro is impeccable. It takes everything seriously and I haven't found any defect on them. In my case, they are being a blessing. Thank you Public Attorney's Office (Ministério Público)!


DON'T GET AN UNKOWN FOR YOURSELF. ALWAYS KNOW YOURSELF

In some moments, I've been so unaccredited, that I've wanted to take my own life, however, I've remembered that I've never stolen anything, that I've been honest, clean and credible. Why should I finish my own life? If you are right, you must fight, fight, fight until you become only skin and bones. Believe in what's right. It makes me hard because me and my husband are making 43 years of marriage and I think the autumn and winter love are the most perfect. I don't know if it's because I'm tired of some many battles, or If it's because I got married with him because my mother obliged me to make it and in some time, the time charges. Today, making our living together has became very hard. I never loved him, but I respected him, however, it's not working out for me anymore. 

Saying that he's mistreated me, it's true. He's being rude with me, but now I think he's became a boring old man. He doesn't' listen to me, he doesn't to put the hearing device, he doesn't want to make the things, so I'm getting tired and in the silence of my loneliness, which I'm being submitted, I'm listening the voice of reason. I'm knowing a person that I left behind when I got married with him in my early 17 years old. I'm knowing the person I was. The loneliness made me reborn, to know that I can. I want, therefore I can. There's no one to put me down, like "no one will fuck my mother, she's falling apart, my father is better than her". In fact, my husband looks like Richard Gere, but he isn't him and for me, I prefer an intelligent brain, a man that knows what he wants, a special man instead a Richard Gere look-alike (a handsome man). A woman, for more independent that she may feel, there are moments that she wants to be caressed, to listen that she's important to someone, that this man doesn't live without her, but there are days that we need to listen to it and my husband has never said it to me. When he said it, it was already late, there's no effect anymore, I got hardened. How long worths to be married with him? The danger of the marriage is when we get habituated or when we are afraid of it. Not today, because today I'm re-evaluating if it worths to be continued. 

I think nowadays I love myself so much that I became lesbian, not in the sense of searching another woman, but in the sense of loving myself. I love a person called Kátia. For a longtime time I've been devalued by my husband and my sons. I forgot about her existence. It's good that she's been just asleep and like snowy white, she's returned to life when she's spited the piece of apple called João Carlos. In fact, today I prefer the toad instead of the prince, because there's no prince anymore. Girls, don't get deluded, for real, firstly love yourself and then you'll be able to transmit the love inside yourself to other person. Finishing, I prefer toads than princes.

An important detail, I've been so much devalued, I've became a maid, a nurse and I unlearned how to make sex. Well, in my age I don't need it that much.

If our Justice system would be like from the US, I wouldn't have unknown myself, the one I was.

Kátia Paes