THE LITTLE ROACH

I think it is interesting when someone asks me if I have ever read METAMORPHOSIS from Kafka. I have never read, but I know maybe there is a similarity due to the sadness caused by my raising process with indifference and mistreatment. I was beaten with a hook for clothes, a broom and whatever was close to my mother hands. I do not know if this is his case, but also indifference.

My mother signed for me to get married without being pregnant or anything, I was 16, so I identify myself when he says about the roach. If I transform myself into a roach, I would like to be one of those small ones because my mother would kill me. If I was a big roach she would leave me in peace or ask someone else to make it. There is nothing that hurts more than the indifference of a father and a mother and the indifference between siblings, all for one and nothing for the other one. Only the person who passed through it, felt it in the flesh and in the heart, will feel it.

Now I will read METAMORPHOSIS. Getting aware that someone else besides me got destructed because of it little by little, in homeopathic doses, is very sad. I think I have never read Kafka because his raising was similar than mine. I will suffer for me and for him. Remembering sad things is suffering twice. Here is a single example: my mother only kissed me once, in my wedding, because she was getting rid of me and the world is like a wheel, I took care of her in the end.

PS: We only wish to be an insect when we think we are less than they are, when we are running out of self-esteem. As we cannot become an insect, we make a self-destruction.

Katia Paes

IN LAND OF WOLVES...

In land of wolves, sheeps don't graze.

Kátia Paes

INDIGENT?

So dark as the darkness,

Promises not accomplished,

Involuntary loneliness,

Machiavellian falsehood,

Slander,

Perfidy,

Arrogance,

Prepotency.

The word “indigent”, for me, it is the worst preconception that exists. Everybody is born a person, the fact of losing money or by the lack of luck in life or to die without being identified don’t make you an indigent, he or she keeps being a person, but no identification.

Contempt of a son or daughter with the parents, as we were nothing, simple, they have reached the maturity, to the adult life automatically, they did not need of us. We did not need to weep, unslept nights, nothing. We are toilet paper, disposable.

The excessive vanity, of those who has as a certainty that they will never get old and mainly who mistreat the animal, a pet that only gives love to us. When we do it we show our real character, the real cowardice, and their love for us is so big that they barely react, just accept their poor destiny, it is sad.

If you find yourself in more of 5 of that list, I regret to let you know, at the same time with an incredible joy, that you will be under the merciless wrath of the Almighty.

Kátia Paes

HUNGER

Who makes the hunger of others, an ally used to kill little animals in the street that did nothing to them, will die in bitter water, because God punishes when He said: “You will love your neighbour” and not your alike. This one will die of bitter tears of agony and of suffering of the little animals that they have killed. Here we do, here we pay. Many people in their old age get cambered, voiceless, and we feel pity, however, in their youth, maybe they did many evil acts with the animals, and many of them may have done what I have told above, because nothing gets unaware to the divine justice. Please, don’t leave people mistreat animals in the streets, because they already have the streets as a step-mother.

                                KÁTIA PAES

MEAN VOCABULARY

Words that do not fit in the vocabulary of Katia Paes and should not fit in yours as well:

1.             Arrogance;

2.             Envy;

3.             Preconception;

4.             Cruelty with Animals;

5.             Intolerance;

6.             Ignorance (Stupidness);

7.             Forgiveness.

Because If you have done these words above, you do not deserve not even the forgiveness of those you have hurt neither the forgiveness of God, because you know that you are wrong and do it even though.

KÁTIA PAES

THE BEST SCHOOL

Me, Kátia Paes, graduated by the College of Suffering, post-graduated in pain, masters in humiliation, doctorate degree in indifference, P.h D in survival.

Do the same. There is no better college than this one that I studied at, the college of street, even possessing a home and a family.

                                                                                                                                                  Kátia Paes

WHEREVER YOU ARE (Platonic Love's Trilogy)

Too sad, you are gone, forever, you took my heart with you, my hope, my important being, because only you, only with you I felt myself important, you took my everything. Today I am only skin, hollow, emotionless, even far away it was divine to know you were breathing, somewhere in this world, it did not matter, you were breathing, even you being halfpenny, vengeful, there was no obstacle you could not overcome, there was not.  I wanted you even being made of the poorest material, made of the worst kind of chita existent in the market, but you were dressing my soul, however, you put an end on your existence and penalised me by my lack of courage to be with you. If I hadn’t had been raised with so much hypocrisy, with so much preconception, with so many lies like was my education, I would have sent everything to hell and I would be at your side.

At this very moment I would exchange my entire life to be at least for 15 minutes, just me and you, so I would miss what I lived and not what could have been. I would have not the burden of my doubt, with this sensation to be missing something that I will never get back. Forgive me, I venerate you and I will always do it.   

PS: This story illustrates the third part of PLATONIC LOVE’S TRILOGY where two people love each other platonically, but because an act of cowardice of one or both of them, they become unhappy when their love did not turn into a real thing.

Note: The word chita means a kind of fabric sold in Brazil, made of a gross cotton, often with vivid colours,  which has a very poor quality and it’s too cheap, probably similar to the chintz fabric.

Kátia Paes