WHEREVER YOU ARE (Platonic Love's Trilogy)

Too sad, you are gone, forever, you took my heart with you, my hope, my important being, because only you, only with you I felt myself important, you took my everything. Today I am only skin, hollow, emotionless, even far away it was divine to know you were breathing, somewhere in this world, it did not matter, you were breathing, even you being halfpenny, vengeful, there was no obstacle you could not overcome, there was not.  I wanted you even being made of the poorest material, made of the worst kind of chita existent in the market, but you were dressing my soul, however, you put an end on your existence and penalised me by my lack of courage to be with you. If I hadn’t had been raised with so much hypocrisy, with so much preconception, with so many lies like was my education, I would have sent everything to hell and I would be at your side.

At this very moment I would exchange my entire life to be at least for 15 minutes, just me and you, so I would miss what I lived and not what could have been. I would have not the burden of my doubt, with this sensation to be missing something that I will never get back. Forgive me, I venerate you and I will always do it.   

PS: This story illustrates the third part of PLATONIC LOVE’S TRILOGY where two people love each other platonically, but because an act of cowardice of one or both of them, they become unhappy when their love did not turn into a real thing.

Note: The word chita means a kind of fabric sold in Brazil, made of a gross cotton, often with vivid colours,  which has a very poor quality and it’s too cheap, probably similar to the chintz fabric.

Kátia Paes

NO CONSCIENCE

Today on TV it has been shown one more child who has passed away, child of someone and grandchild too, dead by the bad service, the lack of medicines and by the lack of physicians at the health centre. I get sad, in anger, with a woman that is the head of the government where it has been stolen as it never had been, a woman, a mother and a grandmother, with two grandchildren, can put her head in the pillow and have the sleep of the just? She is not worried with the suffering of the mothers and grandmothers of Brazil when they lose their children and their grandchildren? How it does not touch her soul? How can she be so cold and after talks about a Coup? A coup happens when you sleep in a government and wakes up in another, a coup has no low and high chamber, they just seize it how they have done in 64 where I was a victim, because that was a coup, not all this rigmarole. I would not like to get in these political matters, but she wants an audience and she wants to end like a victim, suffering an injustice, it is a pity, because the people are dying and it is going to keep happening due to her stubbornness. There is a proverb that says: the people have the government chosen by themselves. It is true, but unfortunately there are people, like me, that did not vote on her.

I would like the Brazilian people learn with mistakes, but they will never learn, it is a cultural aspect, they always want to take advantage, they insist, insist and insist to commit mistakes, they have a short memory and sell themselves by few things. If they were not lazy, they would not need the social program called “bolsa família” ("Family Allowance"). They are having children in order to improve the amount of their benefits. When I see people that seems to be smart supporting her, I get sad. As I have never been an idealist and I never voted on her, this is my consolation, because I am a person who was caught by life in absolute terms, who learned about the human being, the physical and monetary poverty, then I am not fooled for anything as you will see pretty soon.

Kátia Paes

POISON

Some sorts of love are so strong, so strong, so strong that they grow little by little inside you like a poison ivy, when you realize you are no longer breathing, no longer eating, doing nothing, you only vegetate, all because of this love that poisons you piece by piece. This love is so deep, it has dominated you so much that not even the death will finish it. So only though the imbecility you lose the track about who you are, that you exist, consequently the love goes towards the end.

Kátia Paes

ONE THOUSAND TIMES A WOMAN

Unwise is the woman who thinks for being fulfilled like a woman she needs to become a mother, having a child, foster or visceral, getting married, getting subjugated, becoming a homemaker, not any such thing is needed. It’s enough she loves herself above everything, she deserves herself, she prevails herself and she acts like a whole woman, since the tips of the hair until the tips of the toes. Feel yourself like a woman, be a woman!

Kátia Paes

Introduction: PLATONIC LOVE’S TRILOGY

Three are the sorts of platonic love:

First: When the person loves and does not know that is loved in return. The presence of the loved person is enough, living in a state of grace, with sunny days, delightfully happy only for seeing the loved person;

Second: The loved person knows that is corresponded, despising that one who loves platonically. At this very moment, the life becomes a living hell, causing disillusionment, depression, corroding the entrails little by little for being extremely toxic;

Third: Two people love each other platonically, but because an act of cowardice of one or both of them, they become unhappy when their love did not turn into a real thing.

Soon I will write a chapter for one of these three sorts of platonic love. At least someone has passed or is passing through one of them.

See you soon!

 Kátia Paes